Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
