i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
