I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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