a queef is a wish your heart makes.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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