Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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