In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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