like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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