I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
