Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Im part way to drunk.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
