I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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