I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
