I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
