Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The adults are the big ones right?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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