I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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