whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
