For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
