yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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