I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It was confusing and full of hummus
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
