Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So many bounce houses so little time
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
