I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Pants are for mortals
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