gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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