Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
