...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
