well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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