I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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