Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize