Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my shit smells like andre
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
