You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
