Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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