stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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