do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
