I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
