The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
