quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
