I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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