I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
A bitchslap is in order.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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