I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
