tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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