When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
