The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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