I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is it because I queefed?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
