i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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