The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
