No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
