I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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