Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
