dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
