first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize