i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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