508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize