You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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