i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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