4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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