It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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