Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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