I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
