You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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