you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
