Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
