ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
