nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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