i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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