i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Terrible idea I love it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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