dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
