the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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