uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
