I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
