I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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