so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sext me about skeletons
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
