I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
