Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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