we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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