Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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