Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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