Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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