he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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