I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize