well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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