He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
