Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
